fishface

Is there anything more joyful than a can of oily mackerel and some thinly sliced slices of red onion? Oh ho – no no…

It can often be a problem being a Brit and lusting after strong, salty, fishy, garlicky tastes that pervade the breath all day, but yet are so appealing, so mouth-wateringly tasty you just cannot deny the allure.
In Spain – garlic infused toast is a humble staple, France – stinky cheese, a natural member of the family, Germany, Austria all those Nords, well they love a plate of pickled fish don’t they? But Blighty, old Blighty, well she would rather eat simple, bashful, old baked beans on toast and, perhaps, go wild with the marmite.
Well, I, very often, like to my allow my senses to steam over me and will secretly slide into the kitchen, can-opener up my sleeve, raw onion poised, waiting to be sliced, naked and alone and ready to eat, atop a crispy ryvita number or maybe some toasted fresh sourdough with said oily fish straight from la can…yooohhooohaaaa – get the fish out, get the oily fishface onto the vessel thus chosen, oh salivATION – go forth…all will be well…
Just so long as you don’t go out or see anyone else for the rest of that day.
Yes, you can brush your teeth.
Yes, you can rinse with mouthwash.
Yes, you can brush again.
But why can’t everyone else indulge in oily fish, and raw onion for lunch and join the stinking brethren?
By the way Freddie Mercury, whose very voice makes me shudder with appreciation, whose sensual massaging whisper, “who wants to live forever” in my ear makes my hairs stand on end – this genius, this hero, this man who sung for every single heart – with his entire heart and soul, and, by the way, looked fucking great in lycra WITH a moustache, he has been not of this earth for twenty years. RIP Freddie – we still love and adore you.

Green Man Rocks

Independent, family-friendly and nestling at the foot of the Sugar Mountain in Welsh Wales, the GreenMan Festival continues, every August, to draw us into his fluffy green arms.
Yes it’s middle-class, safe and full of, probably too much, easy listening folk music, but throw in heaps of kids, large fluffy clouds and a site that is both compact and beautiful and you have the perfect festival recipe for any Observer-reading 21st century British family.
This year the bodacious, hilarious, naughty and very talented Australian comedian, Tim Minchin performed, having never heard of him – I spent the entire time absolutely bewildered and shocked by his unique performance – he absolutely rocked the comedy tent. And had all the white, middle-class, Guardian readers guffawing with his raw cheek and incredible musical talents. Check out Prejudice – an absolute classic tune pitched resolutely at everyone who is not a ginger…
But have no fear, all you resolutely hedonistic types out there, after dark the dance tent throbs and the youths, and yes there is definitely plenty of them, go forth and shake their lithe booty
to some fantastic DJ’s including Anonymous Androgynous, Andrew Weatherall (yup he’s still going strong), Ewan Pearson, The 2 Bears, Warp Records and Horse Meat Disco.
Next year sees this independent production of festival fluffiness celebrate ten years, and its promising to be a corker.

The Cove

Dolphin slaughter. Fancy watching a movie about that? Neither did we, but we found ourselves absolutely hooked while recently watching The Cove, a documentary about the continued slaughter of thousands of dolphins in Taiji, Japan.

The Cove is a moving portrayal of former Dolphin trainer, Ric O’Barry’s, ambition to inform the world of this desperately tragic annual death-spree, held in secrecy off the coast of Japan. The Cove, amongst other things, argues how unnecessary and cruel this practice is, particularly considering the high proportion of mercury found in Dolphin meat. According to the National Institute for Minimata Disease, over a thousand residents from Taiji were found to have mercury levels at ten times the national average.
Mercury poisoning can cause damage to the nervous system and for pregnant women can also cause birth defects.
Join O’Barry and Fealte & Rosebud by signing this petition to save these incredible creatures from what could be the beginning of their extinction.