Muff Up

What does the future hold for pubes? Ladies? Gentlemen?
The word on the street is that pubes are becoming a thing of yesteryear as modern media pushes the youth of today to aim for a hairless, flawless, naked future.  
Single girlfriends inform me that to own a massive 70’s bush is just not cricket and that if your not trimming the minge, or going for a Brazilian, or even a Hollywood – then, quite frankly, your not going to get laid.
Moran, in her bible How to Be a Woman, confirms this phenomenon that girls, yes mere girls not woman yet, feel peer-pressure to have little or no hair downstairs and this, according to a recent interrogation I had with a beautician, is becoming the norm. 
Despite the fact that by law under-16’s aren’t allowed to have a wax without a consenting adult, younger and younger girls all want hair removal. I kid you not. 
Going on-line reveals a a myriad of mothers and beauticians on forums asking if it is ok to wax their 11 year old’s armpits/legs, this grim video on YouTube shows a mother waxing her screaming 5 year old’s eyebrows. 

I digress, because that is, well the States, but is it beginning to happen here – on the island? According to my insider beautician: yes. And she claims its down to shows like The Only Way is Essex screening images of waxing, bikini lines and plenty of slap to impressionable teenagers – they love it!

But also it is fashionable and topical and these are things that matter – right?

A small survey amongst my peers reveals that the chicks are keeping things pretty darn trim among their ladygardens – with the majority heading towards a Brazilian – I was, and continue to be, impressed!

But, amongst the gardeners one digressed and said did I not realise that the men were in on it too?

Manscaping is the new state of play for gents out there. A brief whisker on google turns up a whole host of manscaping advice, including how to keep you chest, back, bush (yup – it was dubbed bush) and balls either hair-free or trimmed down. The basic premise, it turns out, is that if the boys keep their bush trim, and I quote here: ” We all know the shorter the hair is the longer the junk looks”.

So there you have it ladies – it all comes back to the size of their manhood.

Generally, however hair or no hair is simply a fashion statement; manscaping, Brazilians – its just fashion – just as keeping it fluffy and natural is too – although that is not completely in right now, but give it time – the big bush, for both boys and girls, is an underground movement that is, quite literally, spreading…

Pea. s – for the record – Chew Bacca is my ideal partner

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4 Comments

  1. In sunny SA it is all the rage to have no bush, my partner tells me that in France, men shaving their balls is the norm? I used to go to Virgin Active and was amazed to see the amount of women who wax/shave (even rather elderly women). They must have been freaked by my bush! Ha ha. After reading the fabulous Caitlin Moran "how to be a woman" (thanks for the pressie Han) it is worrying that women think they have to look like a porn star 'down there', WTF. Be organic women/people. Be human!

  2. YIKES!! That is bloody awful – how can we teach our binlids the value of mother nature….but still shaving your pits in your 30's is indeeed late. I grew my armpit hair in my early 20's got to college & was promptly informed by ALL the boys – "shave it off QUICK…" I offended them with my folicules…..but perhaps that shows what a bloody wimp I was by not ignoring them but actually listening and whipping it all off toot sweet…

  3. Well said, yet again, Han. Quite frankly, I find it depressing. Only the other day, My daughter was looking at the 2 strands of hair under one of her armpits and saying how embarrasing it was *heavy sigh*. Do you know that I didn't shave my armpits until I was in my late 30s?! Is that weird? Probably. I was obviously happy to be hairy in that department! I decided to shave because as I grew older I didn't think it was such a great look for me.OK, too much info. I'll go now. Thanks Han for writing this. V thought provoking. xx

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